i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
