She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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