Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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