she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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