Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
