U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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