no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
