who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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