She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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