Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize