maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
