Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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