the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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