Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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