he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I look better un-naked...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
