She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
