whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
