I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
