I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
