I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she woke up with a sticky ear
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize