make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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