He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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