I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
