i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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