dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
