Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
