In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
