What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize