your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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