Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i can't believe i had my finger in that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
