Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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