By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
