it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He is an equal opportunity slut.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
