Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
