He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
