In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
