I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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