Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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