You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
