dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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