I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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