So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
