I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
