Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
