I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
