she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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