Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
