wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
being pregnant is like rehab
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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