Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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