At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
