I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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