high people should be assigned attendants
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
