Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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