Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
