she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
