my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize