The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
