The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
