i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
