Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
