i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
