you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
